Signs of a toxic relationship

You are in a relationship – romantic or friendship – but it isn’t going that well recently. There may be obvious things that aren’t working, but there are also subtle signs that something isn’t quite right.


Signs of a toxic relationship


Arguing too much

What should be small disagreements constantly turn into big arguments that you don’t resolve. If this happens a lot, there could be a problem. If the person becomes violent, you need to let someone else know what is going on and remove yourself from the situation safely and quickly.



You’ve argued, and now the person is refusing to talk to you for an extended period. It’s okay to have some space, but if the person refuses to communicate after a reasonable amount of time, it will be hard to sort things out.


Mean-spirited comments

You or the other person is bottling things up and saying them at a time when you know it will hurt the person.


Uncomfortable expressing feelings

You are always walking on eggshells worried that you are going to upset the other person. You may feel that you can’t be yourself around this person.


Too much effort

You notice that you’re the one putting in the effort – making plans, calling the person and so on. Or the other person only talks about themselves and never asks about you. A healthy relationship needs both people to contribute.



The person is restricting you from meeting up with other friends and makes you feel guilty when you do. This can lead to you feeling isolated.


Lack of trust

When you don’t trust the person, or they don’t trust you, it makes it hard to communicate and spend time together.


No respect

You don’t have to agree on everything, but you should respect each other’s opinions and values. Lack of respect can also be when they consistently put you down or make fun of you.


Too much reminiscing

You keep looking back to the early stages of your relationship because you are not happy with where it is now.



You will have disagreements and arguments from time to time, but ultimately your relationship shouldn’t make you unhappy. Your relationship should make you happy, not sad.


Pay attention to how the relationship makes you feel. If you think that the relationship isn’t healthy, this can possibly change if both people are committed to doing so. You can discuss with the person how you are feeling. You can also lean on other people you trust for support. You don’t want to be in a toxic relationship. You should be in a relationship where you feel safe, stable and happy.


If you’re overwhelmed by your situation, our Suicide Call Back Service counsellors are available on 1300 659 467.

If it is an emergency, call 000.