Get help for self-harm

Understanding self-harm

Self-harm is when you deliberately inflict injury, pain or damage to yourself as a way of coping with intense emotional pain. Self-harm can include cutting, scratching, burning, hitting, pinching, head banging, or pulling hair.

If you are self-harming, you may be in deep emotional pain and feel alone, frightened and isolated. You may have experienced one or more of the situations below that have led to your self-harming behaviour:

• Having strong emotions that are difficult to express (sadness, anger, guilt, shame)
• Intense emotional pain and loss
• Losing someone close to you
• Being bullied or abused
• Feeling worthless
• Feeling numb or disconnected
• Being exposed to a traumatic event
• Dealing with overwhelming stress.

For some people, self-harm is a means to cope with or feel some relief from negative experiences. You may be self-harming to:

• Cope with overwhelming and painful emotions.
• Regain a sense of control.
• Distract from difficult and intense feelings.
• Release tension.
• Self-punish if you feel guilt or shame about something.
• Express intense emotions that you can’t put into words.

While self-harm may feel like a release, it only provides temporary relief and does not address the underlying emotional pain. If self-harming becomes your main way of coping with problems, you may start to feel like you are stuck in a cycle.

Self-harm and suicidal behaviour are different but can be related. If you are self-harming, this doesn’t necessarily mean you are thinking about suicide. However, self-harm can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviour. All self-harm should be treated seriously, and with the right support, recovery is possible.

Your safety

If you are thinking about self-harming or have self-harmed in the past, you should speak to someone you trust, such as a health professional, family member, or friend.

If your self-harm has reached the point where you or someone else is concerned about your physical safety, seek immediate medical attention from your GP or local hospital. In an emergency, go to your local hospital’s emergency department or call 000 and request an ambulance.

Alternatives to self-harm

There are alternative ways to cope with tough and overwhelming emotions and situations. If you feel the urge to self-harm, you can try the following:

• Delay the behaviour. Put it off until you have spoken to someone or waited for a period of time. You might find that the desire to self-harm passes.
• Distract yourself. Go for a walk, listen to music, or do something you enjoy.
• Divert your attention. Try holding ice cubes, wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it, squeezing a stress ball, or another activity that can mimic self-harm but is a safer alternative.
• Relax. Do something relaxing, such as taking a shower, deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, until the feeling passes.

These coping strategies can help you get past the intense feelings that lead you to want to hurt yourself. While these feelings are intense, they do pass.

These alternative ways to cope are not solutions to self-harming behaviour, but they can be used as short-term strategies while you are seeking help from a counsellor or psychologist.

Getting help and support for self-harm

If you are self-harming, consider reaching out to a friend, family member, GP, mental health professional or support service.

You may want to reach out to a health professional if:

• You feel overwhelmed and find it hard to cope.
• You are unable to manage your self-harm urges on your own.
• Your self-harming is increasing or is more severe.
• You feel lonely and isolated.
• You feel worthless or hopeless.
• Your self-harming is negatively impacting your day-to-day life and relationships.
• You are worried about your self-harming.
• You are having suicidal thoughts.

How do I talk about self-harm?

If you are worried about how to talk to someone about self-harm behaviour, you might start with the following:

• “I have some things on my mind. Can we talk about it?”
• “I’ve been feeling upset/sad/angry/ashamed/guilty about something in my life.”
• “I’ve been having a tough time recently, and I am feeling…”

If you find talking about it too overwhelming, try writing down your feelings and give them to someone who can help you. You might want to share this with a trusted friend or family member first, and they can support you in getting the right help.

You can also contact Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. This is a free nationwide phone and online support service available 24 hours a day, seven days a week and is staffed by professional counsellors.

Professional support

Professional support is available to help you understand what is causing you to self-harm and come up with a treatment plan.

GPs and mental health professionals

Make an appointment to see a GP. Be honest about what is happening and how you are feeling. Your doctor might create a mental health treatment plan and provide a referral to specialist mental health support.

A mental health professional, such as a psychologist, can help you address any emotional and psychological issues that are causing you to self-harm. The Australian Psychological Society has an explainer on how to access psychological support.

Free phone helplines

These helplines are available nationwide and are free:

• Suicide Call Back Service – Professional counsellors are available 24/7. Call 1300 659 467.
• Lifeline – Crisis supporters are available 24/7. Call 13 11 14.
• 13YARN – Crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders available 24/7. Call 13 92 76.
• Kids Helpline – Support for kids and teens available 24/7. Call 1800 55 1800.

Local services

These directories and services can help you find support that is available in your area:

• Healthdirect – Search for GPs and healthcare professionals.
• Lifeline service finder – Search for free and low-cost health and community services.
• Medicare Mental Health – Connect with mental health support.

Please remember that you are not alone. With the right help and support, you can recover and find safer ways to cope. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength.

If you are struggling and need someone to talk to, call Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 to speak to a counsellor. Click the chat button on the right to access online counselling. Our service is free and available 24/7.

If it is an emergency, please call 000.