Helping yourself

The following is a list of things that other people have found helpful when feeling overwhelmed to the point of wanting to harm or kill themselves. You might find it useful to experiment with some of these ideas and keep a list of the ones you’ve found helpful so you can refer back to them when you need to.

Things you can do on your own

Think about another time where you might have faced a similarly stressful time in your life and what you did to cope. Can you do the same things now?

Think or write about the last time you felt a little better than you do now

Stay focused on the present, as worrying about whether things will ever improve often just leads to feeling more overwhelmed. You can do this by breaking up your day into chunks and plan an activity for a short period of time that will distract you, and then plan your next activity once you’ve finished that one. Some examples of activities other people find helpful:

Listening to music that can change your mood
Having a bath
Sitting outside or going for a short walk
Watching a favourite DVD, television program or video
Drawing/sketching/painting
Writing
Taking some time out to treat yourself to a small thing you ordinarily enjoy and savour it

Learn about other relaxation and coping techniques. There are a range of relaxation techniques that people find useful to reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. You can learn more about these by searching Google or visiting your local library or bookshop. Some examples of other relaxation techniques are:

Body scans. Also known as ‘progressive muscle relaxation’. Lie down or recline in a chair. Taking slow breaths, beginning with your feet tense the muscles for 10 seconds and then release them for 15 seconds. Work your way up the different muscle groupings of your body.
Breathing exercises. Find a comfortable position, and either close your eyes or focus on something in the room. Begin by taking a slow breath in through your nose, hold that breath, and then slowly release the breath out through your mouth. Once you’ve exhaled hold your breath again, then repeat this process until you feel a little calmer. You may find it easier to concentrate on this by counting up to 3 or more slowly at each stage.
Mindfulness. Rather than trying to stop your upsetting thoughts and feelings, try to acknowledge and accept them without judging them. Also know that you experience a range of thoughts and feelings beyond those you are having now – each state is temporary and will pass.
Using imagery. Spend some time thinking of a place, real or imaginary, where you would feel safe, relaxed and comfortable.

Take care of your physical health. While it isn’t easy when you’re feeling so overwhelmed, eating well, maintaining a daily routine and keeping active all can help you feel more able to keep on top of things.
Spend 10-15 minutes writing down what you’re feeling in a journal (but don’t spend too much time doing this one because you may find you maintain or increase your overwhelming feelings and thoughts)

Hurting yourself in ‘safe’ ways. When none of the other ideas listed above appear to help, it is possible that hurting yourself in ways that shouldn’t leave any permanent damage might help. Examples are holding an iceblock between your fingers or flicking a rubber band against your wrist.

Things you can do with others

Talking to someone about it and getting support (Talking about it)
Choosing people who you can spend time with doing things you would normally enjoy
Attending support groups, such as GROW (see Community Resources).
Contacting a helpline such as SuicideLine (VIC) or LifeLine before self harming. This may enable you to manage to avoid self harm and to explore and build on alternate coping options.
It may be easier to take the step of talking about your struggles with self harm over the phone if you've found it confronting to link with supports face to face